Friday, December 28, 2007

Christmas Morning

Kids are so funny.

Christmas Eve was insanely busy. Church 'til 8:30; dinner at the in-laws; opening in-law gifts and then home by 11. Horribly long day, and I was miserable. Fortunately, the kids behaved pretty well. S. was excited to throw 'reindeer food' out in the backyard, and even L. got into the Christmas presents.

Christmas morning, L. came into our room to wake us. It surprised me that S. hadn't already gotten up. When we headed out to the living room, I found out why. Sitting up on the couch under the new blanket her grandma made her was a sleeping S. The girl had snuck out who knows when and sat down to watch for Santa while snuggled up under her prized blanket. Too funny that she missed the fact the stockings were already full.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Stressed - Non-stressed

Way behind on the blogging... Too tired, I guess.

Way back on December 11, I get a phone call from daycare. One of the kids in L's class showed up with donut holes, and L. ate one before the teachers could get them away from the other kid. Mr. W. raced off to watch her, give her Benadryl and see if she needed to go to the ER.

I freaking hate food allergies! I also hate that some parents cannot seem to get it through their thick skulls that 'NO FOOD IN THE CLASS' means 'NO FOOD IN THE CLASS' I was so mad, I was actually shaking.

I sort of had a feeling something was going to happen that day. L. was in wild-child do what I want mode that morning. She KNOWS she's not supposed to take food from other kids...

Fortunately, the worst that happened was that L. had a solid week worth of diarrhea. Her poor little bottom.

The kicker is when I called the daycare director to ask her if they could send another note home reminding parents not to bring kids to school with food, she informed me that she had talked to the mother in question. The mom's response? 'Well, I see L. eating with all the other kids all the time.' No freaking duh! It's only during mealtimes when L. HAS HER OWN FOOD AND IS BEING MONITORED! It's not when the kids are all running around and only one child has food. Ugh!

Even before L.'s diagnosis, I would have been appalled and deeply apologetic if something I had done led to someone else's child getting sick.

Adding to the stressed portion of this post, I had noticed an abrupt decrease in fetal movement. As in, nothing but a couple stretches for 3 days. I'm fine when it's one or two days where baby decides to sleep all day, but once day 3 came, I started to get very nervous. To top it off, I was pretty panicked about L.'s run-in with her food allergy earlier that week.

I called my ob office and cried until they let me come in for a non-stress test. In typical 'it stops making that noise as soon as the mechanic is there' fashion, the baby flipped and started kicking up a storm within 10 minutes of the monitors being strapped on. I suspect now that she had actually put her head down and settled into my pelvis. Once she popped back out, I could feel her move again.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Baby Poll

In a fit of maternal weirdness, I have created a baby poll at expectnet:

Have fun, take a guess at what the Wheezers will be bringing home sometime in February.

Whoever gets the lowest score will receive something from me (although I'm not exactly sure what, yet, beyond bragging rights):

Point system is below:

incorrect gender: 400 points
date & time: 5 points per hour
weight: 5 points per ounce
length: 10 points per inch

Vitals so far:
1. Doc at the ultrasound said this baby looks like a girl, but he's been wrong before. Current due date is 2/8
2. S. was 10 lbs 3 oz and 22 in. at birth. Due 4/4; born 4/17
3. L. was 9 lbs 5 oz and 21.5 in. at birth. Due 2/11; born 2/18

Click on the banner above and happy guessing!

Friday, December 07, 2007

I've been ELFED!!!!!

Many thanks to Chaos Among Us for the really cute notepad and bookmark (handmade by HER, no doubt). Both the girls wanted ones exactly like them. 'Santa' and I need to find some crafting time, LOL.

Time for me to get Elfing!!!!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Birthday Blues...

I am now old enough to legally date someone half my age. Mr. W. informs me that he does not approve of such activity.

The plan was for Mr. W. to take the girls to a Christmas parade. They would ride on the float their daddy, grandpa and other assorted males from Mr. W.'s church put together and toss candy out to the spectators. I would go home and sulk for a few minutes about being all alone on my birthday, and get over it once I realized I had peace and quiet for a good couple hours.


Mr. W. called at 5:30 to tell me that S. ended her day a half step away from a visit to the principal's office due to misbehavior. Her daily folder merely had a note stating that her teacher would be calling that evening. She offered to tell her daddy what happened if he would let her still be part of the parade (love the little bit of blackmail). No parade for S. and her sister! In fact, no fun at all for S. the entire evening.

Neither one of us could get her to fess up to what she had done, but we did get plenty of weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. After a very weepy dinner, I started in on S.

Me: S. what happened in school today?
S.: I don't know.
Me: Oh yes you do. Your teacher will be calling to tell me exactly what happened. I promise you it will be much better for you if you tell me first.
S.: My stomach hurts
Me: That's because you know you did wrong today
S.: *sniffles*
Me: You want to know how to make your stomach stop hurt?
S.: *sniffles* yes...
Me: There are two things you need to do. You need to tell me exactly what happened, and you need to apologize to everyone you did anything bad to.
S.: Why does my stomach hurt?
Me: Because there is a little voice inside you that tells you when you've done the wrong thing. I promise that if you tell me what happened, your stomach won't hurt as much any more.
S.: Is there any way to get that voice out of my body?
Me: No. That voice is good for you. It is supposed to keep you out of trouble. Now tell me what happened. Your teacher will be calling soon.
S.: *sniffle, sniffle, sniffle*
This is when the phone starts ringing and S.' eyes open very wide.
Me: Too late now, I'm sure this is your teacher, and she will tell me exactly what happened today. Go get ready for your bath.
Mr. W. carried her off while she started crying all over the place again.

I answered the phone, and sure enough, it was S.' teacher. She told me all about S.' morning. Apparently, she managed to get into all that trouble BEFORE lunch. Oh joy...

Monday, December 03, 2007

School Assessment and Report Card Time

I attended my first ever parent-teacher conference on Thursday, November 22. Overall, S. is doing quite well academically. She's blowing through her standardized tests. Her class is participating in an experimental study intended to identify students at-risk for math problems. Part of the assessment is to take a series of math tests at the beginning, middle and end of the school year. The big 35 question exam, she got all of 3 questions wrong and ranked 'Very Superior'. She's also showing proficiency in most of the verbal/reading elements. Her teacher indicated she's the only one in the class who has done that. (Big, warm, prideful mommy glow goes here)

However (and you know, there's always a 'however'), S. continues to have some behavior problems. I'd say a full 1/2 of the worksheets she brings home are only half done. This is because she is not listening to her teacher, following directions and being quiet during the 20 minutes she's supposed to be working on the blasted things. It's not a big deal in Kindergarten. She is learning the stuff as evidenced by her test scores. However, this will become a significant issue in 1st grade, when the kids will have much more in the way of silent work.

She is also having behavior problems in PE. The tail end of class, the kids are arranged in alphabetical order. Unfortunately, this puts her right next to the kid most likely to harrass another kid. He is having family issues, bless his heart, and winds up acting up at school. S. is the kid most likely to give a good reaction when harassed. I cannot believe the PE teachers haven't made a little change with the seating arrangement. S.' regular teacher and I both agreed that while S. needs to learn to ignore certain behaviors and this boy needs to learn to stop certain behaviors, sitting these two next to each other is not the best way to accomplish this. S.' regular teacher has asked that the kids be moved around, but the PE teachers have not agreed. If I get another 'fix your kid because she's been awful in PE' note, I will be setting up a conference with the PE teachers and make the same request.

Overall, S. is doing just fine. She's making lots of friends (judging by the fact we can't go anywhere without some kid running up to her and giving her a big hug) and really loves going to school. Plus, her penmanship has improved dramatically. I was writing as well as she is now only after my 2nd year of Kindergarten.

I know it's a few days late, but... YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Yes, I'm an insurance geek. Yes, I'm thrilled that hurricane season is over!!!!!!!

Please feel free to laugh at me.

ABNT20 KNHC 010302
1030 PM EST FRI NOV 30 2007





Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Happy Anniversary!

Mr. W and I have now been married a total of 8 years. Wow! In some ways, I can hardly believe the time has flown by so quickly. In others, I can barely remember life before Mr. W.

He is my very best friend. Even though I love that we are raising a family together (he makes excellent X chromosomes), I do look forward to the days after the kids are off on their own. The kids are rewarding, and I wouldn't change a thing about our family. However, I miss spending more time with my sweetie. Especially uninterrupted time.

Ah, well, give us another 18 -23 years, and we'll have our house to ourselves again.

In the meantime, thank you, love, for the wonderful ride. I love you forever.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ever wish your kid would go ahead and get sick?

I find myself in the rather odd position of hoping that L. breaks out in a bright red rash today. You see, her sister broke out with the rash that signified Fifth Disease yesterday afternoon. Ordinarily, Fifth Disease is a very mild illness that most Americans are already immune to. However, for a pregnant woman who has never been infected by the virus, this illness can have really nasty effects for her unborn baby. It is rare that an infected pregnant woman would have anything worse than achy joints, but it is possible.

We were scheduled to head down to Corpus Christi to spend Thanksgiving with my family and observe a memorial for my grandmother. However, my sister in law is pregnant and has never had Fifth's before. I would not dream of intentionall exposing her and her unborn child to something that could have bad health consequences.

So now, we're waiting to see if L. breaks out in a rash. You see, the odd thing about Fifth's is that once the rash comes up, the person is no longer contagious. Odd, isn't it? It could be that L. is already immune, but never showed symptoms. This would be fine, except we wouldn't know she was 'safe' in time for T-day. It could be that L. didn't catch the virus at all. Again, this would be fine except for the not being able to tell. So, I find myself hoping that L. has been infected and will break out in that tell-tale rash today.

Part of me is really upset about the timing, but another part is relieved the rash popped up yesterday and not a week from yesterday after we'd exposed my brother's entire family to the bug... Kids...

I should be okay since I had it as a child. However, my doc, being the cautious one, ordered a blood test to just be sure. Not a problem, really, since they were already drawing blood to check for anemia, Coombs test and glucose tolerance. I also got my RhoGAM and flu shots this morning. I'm feeling a bit of a depressed pincushion today.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


My blood pressure is normally quite low. At home, I typically got around 96/65. It's always quite a bit higher at the doctor's office, since I really dislike going to the doctor. Even then it would climb to the 116/76 range.

For whatever reason, my bp has been hovering in the 130/80 range for this pregnancy, and boy have I been stressing over this. I've been really nervous about PIH or pre-eclampsia.

Last night though, I took it and got.... 110/65! Woohoo!

Side note: At this precise moment, I have a little baby bottom poking out making a cute little lump off to the left side.

Monday, November 12, 2007

So why does it hurt?

My grandma passed away October 31. She had been very sick with circulatory issues, heart troubles and alzheimer's/dementia for a long time. She was depressed, scared, confused and difficult to be around. We knew she did not have much time with us, and yet it was a terrible shock to me to get the phone call. I had so hoped to see her at Thanksgiving so she could see my girls one more time.

Now she is at peace. No longer in pain. No longer confused. No longer angry. No longer sick. No longer depressed.

The vibrant, shopaholic, funny and interesting woman she used to be has been gone for some time now. So why does it hurt so much that she is gone? Did I have a hope in my heart that one day she would get better? Did I think that she would miraculously learn my girls' names? Did I really expect her to hop out of that wheelchair and go bowling again? Yes... I did. I really and truly did.

I have the engagement ring my grandfather gave her, but I'd much rather have one more night bowling. Her bowling technique wasn't exactly graceful, but she always scored much better than I ever could (even after taking a course in college). She was one of those lob-and-thunk bowlers. She'd get a good run up to the line and chuck that ball in the air. It would sail halfway down the lane before finally hitting the wood with a loud 'thunk' and then rolling the rest of the way down, knocking over most of the pins.

I miss you, Gramma...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Veni, Vidi, Flunki

Today was T-day. I packed my calculator, my calculator backup and my mechanical pencil and headed off to take my Actuarial exam.

Faced with a 30 question, 2.5 hour exam, I estimated that I would feel confident on 10 questions, iffy on 10 and completely clueless on the last 10.

Reality of the breakdown was: confident on 5, iffy on 15 and clueless on 10. Why on earth can I not remember ANY of the formulas for bonds, and I swear as I am sitting here I know how to do a Macaulay duration before I got up this morning.

Oh, well, I knew I'd flunk, but now I have some valuable lessons:

1. Do NOT try to learn anything new 1 week and closer to the exam. Spend that time making sure you are solid on what you already know.

2. Do NOT waste cartloads of time breaking down formulas. Reduce and simply and THEN break apart.

3. Read the question carefully... twice... before deciding there isn't enough information to answer it.

4. A death in the family 1 week prior to the exam really screws up your study rhythm... another post for another day.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Just for grins

Every so often I take a look at who's coming to the blog and how they wandered here. The most entertaining are those who did some sort of Google search and wound up here. My personal favorite is still, 'broccoli is a fruit'. However, I no longer pop up in that search. boo hoo, LOL.

Recent searches go from the 'huh?' to the 'ick...'

AH.UN.OH - on a search
broke my toe mom blog - ooookay
how did you feel walking in the susan g. komen walk for the cure? - I think this one was pretty cool
i hate my feet - this one's quite popular!
cut roses sprouting - when the heck did I write about roses?
understatement of the century - on a search
i hate my mother - on a search (I think someone has issues.)
dairy withdrawal - on a search
true or false 1 in 10 women diaper dinner - wha?

The 'ick' ones I'm not repeating because I don't really want those kinds of people coming back here again. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Anyone have blog bleach?

Can't look away

In addition to my daily check on the tropical storm situation in the Atlantic, I'm now checking in on the wildfire situation in California.

Professional interest has me keeping an eye out for developing hurricanes (none predicted at this time, thank goodness) due to the nature of my job. When Texas gets hit by a hurricane, my employer goes into 'crazy' mode trying to assess claims and check on policyholders. Fortunately, Erin petered out and Humberto really didn't do much damage. We've still got a ways to go until the end of hurricane season, though.

Personal and professional interest has me voraciously reading news reports of the California fires. Hopefully, policyholders have appropriate limits on their homeowner policies. Between the damage caused in 2003 and the resulting increase in the cost of building supplies, I really hope insurers are on the ball and have raised limits appropriately. It would be terrible to lose everything in a fire only to discover that you are under-insured and can only rebuild half your house...

I did read one commentary that rubbed me entirely the wrong way. Well, one sentence: 'And while insurance companies appear financially well-positioned to cover losses, they’re increasingly pressing homeowners to reduce fire risk and increase coverage.' Ummm, in order for an insurance company to be financially well-positioned to cover massive losses, the policies they sell MUST have adequate limits. Encouraging (read: offer premium discounts or surcharges based on meeting certain underwriting guidelines) policyholders to reduce fire risk is a win-win situation for both the homeowner and the insurance company. In order for a policyholder to have a valid financial cushion, coverage must be adequate.

One of the things I love about working for an insurance company is that I feel we make a difference. Yes, everybody hates their insurance co. Shoot, there are times I dislike my own. I pay a lot of money for a product I hope to GOODNESS I never have to use. When I do have to file a claim, there is definitely stress present. However, without that financial cushion, many, many, many people would experience financial difficulty and/or ruin.

On the personal side of things, the devastation felt by so many people who have lost their homes or are in danger of losing their homes is horrifying. My heart aches for so many who have lost so much. The loss of life is even worse...


Bump, tap.... bump, tap.... bump, tap....

The bean has gotten the hiccups a couple times. It's pretty interesting because she has a WHOLE lotta space to move around in right now. When she hics, I feel a bump on the right followed by a soft tap on the left side in a fine example of Newton's 3rd Law of Motion.

Just wait kid, it won't be long before you're out of room.

Non-toxicity test

Hopefully, Crayola's water color paints are as non-toxic as advertised. L. decided it would be great fun to taste her water colors last night.

Monday, October 22, 2007

7 Random Things about me - or I've been tagged

Ms. Aimee at Greeblemonkey tagged me a few days ago. About time I answered, huh?

1. Chocolate makes me sneeze. My nose can tell fine chocolates from a Hershey bar just by the number of sneezes. There's some Swiss dark chocolate that triggered a good 6-7 sneezes per piece. Mmmmm....

2. I had matching scores on the SAT verbal and math the first time I took it. I also had matching verbal and math scores on the GRE. No wonder I can't figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

3. I love writing queries in SQL. Yes, I'm weird.

4. I learned how to drive on a standard transmission. Nothing says stress like a very novice driver stalling out in the middle of a busy intersection in Wiesbaden Germany.

5. I took 2 years Latin in high school. Elephantus non capit murem.

6. I like Scooby Doo cartoons

7. Back in the original Power Rangers days, I thought the blue ranger was just the cutest thing ever. Yes, I realize I'm a little old for Power Rangers, see number 6.

I can't think of 6 to tag... so I'm going to be a slacker and let it die here.


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Throwing my own little pity party. Want to come?

L. was diagnosed with a severe allergy to cow milk 19 months ago. Since then, we've gone on a strict dairy elimination diet, and we've done quite well. Her last hives outbreak was a year ago (when I forgot to wipe down a restaurant table) and that one was pretty minor.

1 year ago, she had a follow-up RAST and skin test. The skin test came back negative, but the RAST showed her levels were unchanged. We continued the dairy elimination diet, and I just KNEW things were better this year. Her RAST test results looked good (from 2 to 1 for milk), so we were all set to do a food challenge yesterday. Right before the challenge, her allergist did one last skin test, and she failed miserably. Within 60 seconds of him applying the allergen, she was itching and developed 10 mm welt where he had put the whole milk.

We'll try again in another year... I had dreams of taking her to the fair and letting her have all the 'goodies', eating birthday cake and ice cream, enjoying my mother's pumpkin pie at T-giving, being able to go out to eat as a family, etc. Instead, it's another year of remembering to take epi-pens and wipes and special snacks and worrying about substitutes in L.'s daycare class...

I'm about to enter my 3rd trimester, so I'll be starting my dairy elimination diet soon. I hate soy flavors and cannot bring myself to drink soy milk. I guess I'll just have to suck it up... The allergist also recommended I avoid peanut and tree nuts since they are so allergenic. *sigh* I know it could be worse, and my heart breaks for the parents whose kids are allergic to unknown and multiple foods. But still, I'm having my little pity party today... I'll be better tomorrow.


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Exam's comin' round the bend

You may (or may not) have noticed a marked decrease in the amount of posting lately. Weeellll, truth be told I'm obnoxiously busy at work, and I'm actually still trying to study for the actuarial exam next month. I would dearly love to pass this exam, but realistically, I hope to merely flunk well enough that they don't toss out my score altogether. The concepts covered in the material aren't bothering me much at all. The killer part is all the math I forgot or never knew in the first place. Things like natural logs, integration, geometric series, quadratic formula, that stupid e, etc.

I checked my blog traffic yesterday and was pretty shocked at what I found. People are still coming to read here! In fact, somehow my Actuarial Schmactuarial post was linked to from Weird... and unexpected. I don't believe I'm the only person to grouse and whine about actuarial exams on a blog. Maybe I should take a look and see if I can find any brothers and sisters in pain. LOL!

I have 6, possibly 7, days vacation I need to use before the bean gets here in early February. Between training up my fill-in for my maternity leave and dealing with end of year bonus schedules, I won't be able to take any vacation starting January 2. I'll be using 2 day in order to travel to see my folks over Thanksgiving and 1 day for L.'s allergy test.... oooh, I haven't posted about that one.... which leaves me 3, possibly 4, vacation days just begging to be used. Guess who'll be using 'vacation' time to study? No, no, no, YES! Yours truly.

Now, the big dilemma is deciding WHEN to use those days. Should they be grouped together right before the exam? Should they be spaced apart evenly between now and the exam? Should I save one for the day after the exam when I will be in a big sulk and not want to talk to anybody, especially co-workers who will be asking me how I did on the exam, thus bringing the pain of my first failure ever to the forefront over and over again?


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Photographic evidence

I have an hour or so to kill, so I thought I'd post the 'it's a girl' u/s pic. I'm not exaggerating about the hour. Between limping along on a 7 year old computer and dial-up internet connection, it is an hour.


Now, I, personally don't see girl parts in this image. It looks more like a lack of boy parts. However, during the actual u/s, I think I saw what was most definitely girl parts. Still, I'm not 100% convinced we're having a girl. Of course, I wasn't convinced until I saw for myself in living color for S. and L.

Mr. W. and I have settled on the first name for this little girl but are still working out the kinks for the middle name. Anyhoo, her first initial will be A. When you consider that our last name starts with W, we will have the SLAW girls. Maybe I can have matching sweaters made...

Friday, September 21, 2007

New country western song?

I Barfed This Morning, But I've Felt Fine All Day

I bet Weird Al could take that title and make something of it... Anybody got a direct line to him?

You know what's fun?

What's fun is getting a phone call from your 5 year old's Kindergarten teacher informing you that:

a. Despite having a good morning, your daughter wound up having a color change in the afternoon. This makes 4 days in a row.

b. She had a crying fit in the cafeteria because she had lost her lunchbox. The lunchbox was found in the hallway where she dropped it. Crying fits are VERY unusual for this child unless she is sick.

c. When you ask the Kindergarten teacher if there's been anyone sick in her class, she informs you that yes, there was a child out with strep throat. You proceed to groan and tell the teacher that your daughter is very susceptible to strep and between the exposure and the crying fit, you are 99% sure your daughter has strep as well.

d. You call your husband's cell phone and the home phone trying to reach him in the faint hope he can get your daughter to the doctor for a strep test this afternoon only to reach nothing but voicemail.

This is fun... NOT

Monday, September 10, 2007

Flora, Fauna & Merryweather

I had the BIG u/s on Thursday. After waffling for weeks, I decided to go ahead and find out if the bean has girl parts or boy parts. Mr. W. wanted to find out and the poor guy had to miss the u/s, so I had pity on him.

We are infanticipating a 3rd little girl. In celebration of this occasion, Mr. W. proposed we rename the elder two Flora and Fauna and name this little sprite Merryweather in honor of Sleeping Beauty. He is such a funny, funny man. The baby appears to be absolutely perfect.

I decided that since Mr. W. couldn't go to the show, he should get SOME kind of a surprise. On the way home from my appointment, I told him that while everything looked perfect with the little bean, the legs were crossed the entire time. heh heh heh

So I popped into a party shop and purchased a dozen helium filled pink balloons. Watching me try to stuff those into the cab of Mr. W.'s pickup truck provided entertainment for several hanging out in the parking lot. I drove on home and managed to haul the balloons out of the truck and into the house. Kudos to me for only breaking 2 during this process, LOL. The balloons were set up in the middle of our living room with the u/s picture stating the bean was a girl.

Mr. W. and S. walked in and S. chirped, 'Birthday balloons!!!!'

Mr. W. looked at me quite puzzled. I told him to take a look at the card... He has since accused me of being verrrryyyy sneaky. I think he enjoyed the surprise. The girls definitely enjoyed the balloons. S. is over the moon about having another sister. As the eldest sister, she predicts (quite accurately) that she will someday have a room to herself while the younger 2 will eventually have to share. smartypants.

Anyhoo, I had an ob appointment Friday morning, where the topic of contractions and preterm labor came up. Now, I am one of those oddballs who has tons of contractions all through the pregnancy only to go past term and wind up delivering after hours of pitocin. My u/s was even delayed a few minutes because the contractions interfered with the doc's measurements. This is completely normal for me. However, my ob is new to my weirdness, LOL. Despite my assurances, he strongly encouraged me to let him get an u/s measurement of my cervical length. He was pretty shocked with what he saw, LOL. He was looking for anything over 3 cm. Mine is (in his words) a county fair award winning 5 and some change cm. Wonder if that has anything to do with me needing 7 hours' pitocin drip for the silly thing to open up...

ps. I'm still off my meds and have only been sick 3 or 4 times over the past week (including once this morning, but that's okay).

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Shhhh... don't tell

I've been off my nausea meds for 4 days now. I've only thrown up 3 times (and none today).

*shhhhh* looks like this might be the beginning of the end of the morning sickness.

Too good to last

S. had her first color change yesterday... for throwing rocks at another child on the playground.

I knew she wouldn't stay out of trouble forever, but it sure would have been nice if she hadn't tried to hurt somebody else. *sigh*

Update at 5:15 PM. Mr. W. informs me that S. had not 1 but 2 color changes today. Something about not following directions... Here we go again.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Feeling better about S. and school

I visited with S.' teacher this morning, and I'm feeling much better about the bathroom incident. There is a single bathroom in the classroom that the children all use. However, not all the kids have good bathroom etiquette. Things like shutting the door while they are in there and knocking before entry are still being learned. The teacher is also dealing with kids who wait until the last possible minute to go potty.

A new boy started on Wednesday. It was his very first day to ever be in any sort of classroom setting. He is one of the kids having bathroom protocol problems. What I think happened is that he needed to GO, and S. was already in the bathroom. He was probably much more interested in getting her OFF the potty than anything sinister.

Mrs. G. has assured me that she will continue to work with the kids' proper bathroom protocol and will spend a little more time reinforcing it. Meanwhile, I'm going to talk to S. about saying NO or OCCUPIED very strongly should someone walk in while she is in the bathroom.


I've re-arranged an afternoon meeting, so lunch today with S. is still ON! She still doesn't know, so this is going to be a pretty nice surprise.

As a side note, Mrs. G. seems to have a fine appreciation for S. We both agreed she is a pretty funny kid. Yesterday afternoon, Mrs. G. had a worksheet for the kids. S. responded with, 'I don't want to do this.' Mrs. G. talked to her, and S. did complete the worksheet. I suspect this will not be the last difference of opinion, though. I told Mrs. G. that we found punishment really doesn't phaze S. very much. In order for her to follow rules, she needs to understand why they are important.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Four Drop offs and a Funeral

Gee, it has been a long time...


S. started Kindergarten on Monday. Where has the time gone? Her first day, she wanted assurance that Mr. W. and I would hang out with her if necessary. However, once we got to her class, she dove right in and couldn't have said we were there or not. Her teacher had a little gift sack for each set of parents. It contained a little packet of Kleenex and some chocolate to help the mommies and daddies get through the day. A very sweet poem she wrote about the first day of school accompanied the bag and left me boo hooing in the van on the way to daycare.

L. was NOT happy about going to her school without S. She did eventually voluntarily enter her classroom, but she made her displeasure known.


Again on Tuesday, we took S. directly to her classroom. She couldn't wait for us to leave.

L. started a new class at daycare. She refused to walk in her new classroom until she was a couple of her buddies from her previous classroom. I spent a good amount of time discussing L.'s food allergy and pointing out where we keep the epi-pens and how they work. I'm confident these teachers will be just as careful as her last teachers.


Mommies and daddies are not allowed to walk their child to class as of today. I dropped S. off in the designated area. She barely slowed down for me to yell, 'I love you. Have a good day.'

L. went right into her new class and was raring to go. Good times.

I worked obnoxiously late and when I got, home, Mr. W. told me the disturbing story S. told him. She said a boy came into the bathroom while she was in there and touched her privates. She told the teacher, and the boy got in trouble. We did not get a note home or any communication from the teacher about this. I am trying not to go off the deep end. S. doesn't seem traumatized, just annoyed. I am struggling with an urge to drop kick this kid into the middle of next month.

On the other hand, S. brought home some work from school. They are spending the first couple weeks learning how to use their tools. Yesterday, the was glue and scissors practice. I'm really proud of how well she managed to keep her glue contained.


Freddy, the betta fish, is dead. So dead, in fact, that he was starting to stink. We held an impromptu burial service for Freddy out by our front step shortly after breakfast. May he rest in peace. Sucky way for a 5 year old to start her day, losing a pet...

On the way to school, S. confirmed her story about the bathroom incident and added the detail that the boy kicked her as well. I am going to visit with the teacher tomorrow morning. Her conference period is from 8:05 to 8:55, and I need to hear from her what is going on.

Again, L. tripped merrily into her class. I think she really loves the new activities available to her now.

I am leaving for home now, and really hope that we have some sort of communication from the teacher.

I am excited about tomorrow, though. I am taking a long lunch and spending it with S. I haven't told her about it, so it's going to be a surprise.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Drugs, drugs everywhere

Seasickness patch worked, but also induced terrible dizziness. Good thing I didn't vomit on that stuff, since I could barely get upright, let alone hit an appropriate vomit target.

The doc has submitted a request for the Zofran to be covered... Right now, I'm perfectly willing to pay full price for anything that keeps everything currently in my tummy from making a violent re-appearance. Although, $20/pill hurts...

The security system woks

We have a brand new security system at work. Badges are required to move from floor to floor and into certain departments. After more than 9 years of never having to deal with a locked door, I have definitely hit a learning curve.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that the lock on the glass door that goes into IS works perfectly, seeing as how I have smashed myself into it on multiple occasions. Maybe a broken nose will help me remember to swipe my ID badge? ... Probably not.

Operation Eeyore Sleep

We (or rather, Mr. W.) did it! The girls are no longer sleeping on toddler bed and in a crib. Both have been put away and twin size beds have taken their place.

In order to make the transition from little to big more comfortable for the girls, we ordered matching Eeyore Blue Roses bedspreads, sheets, etc sets. The girls love them almost as much as jumping on their new beds.

We skipped the side rails for now, and L. did fall out of bed once last night. She was cranky when Mr. W. picked her up to put her back in bed. However, she did manage to stay in the center of her bed the rest of the night. Yay L!

Thursday, August 09, 2007


Had my prenatal check-up today. It was oh-so-fun PAP, etc. appointment. We did get to listen to the little bean's heart fluttering away at 156 bpm. Everything's perfect, and he commented on my little bump. Mr. W. turned into a giant squooshy, kissy-faced marshmallow after hearing that little flutter... Awwwwww.

I have a script for seasickness patches which I will try for a few days. If these don't work, the doc will start the process to TRY to get Zofran covered for me... On the lighter side, apparently the medication in the patch will make your pupil dilate if you touch your eye after applying the patch and before washing your hands thoroughly. He had a patient who wound up subjected to all kinds of neurological workups when she showed up at the ER with uncontrollable nausea and vomitting and one dilated pupil. A good thing to note!

I again declined all genetic, spina bifida, etc. screenings. I'm one of those who worries incessantly when there may be something wrong, and I would never forgive myself if an invasive test wound up harming my baby. So, it makes perfect sense to me to skip screenings that already put me at a higher risk due to my 'advanced maternal age.' When you add in that I have no intention of terminating, it just makes sense to save the insurance co. some money.

Now if you could tell me that an amnio was guaranteed 100% not to harm the baby and gave a 100% correct diagnosis, I'd be all over it. Otherwise, I want to avoid what happened to a good friend of mine. She too, would never consider an amnio or termination and she DID have screenings done. She received terrible results and wound up having to deal with worries at the back of her mind the rest of her pregnancy. She delivered a perfectly healthy little boy.

I'll head to big, bad, research hospital an hour away in another month or so for a detailed ultra sound. This should give enough information to prepare me for the need to deliver at big, bad, research hospital if there is something seriously wrong with the bean. The local hospital where I plan to deliver doesn't really have a NICU. Can you imagine how badly it would stink to be stuck in one hospital while your new baby has been airlifted to another one an hour away? *shudder*


Tuesday, August 07, 2007

This, that and the other

All about S.

Got a note from daycare that a child in S.' class came down with scarlatina (aka Scarlet Fever) last Friday. I'm guessing this is where S. was exposed to Strep.

Kindergarten is a mere 20 days away. It has finally dawned on S. that when she starts her new school, she will be leaving her old friends and teachers behind. We had a case of the nervous whines on the way to daycare this morning. Bless her heart. She has attended the same center since she was 6 weeks old. She will never be in the same school for that long again (please, let her finish college in 4 years!). She's worried about her teacher, her friends, being all by herself, etc. She is so outgoing and friendly with everyone, that I know she will settle in just fine. Meanwhile, I've promised to:

A. go with her on her first day and stay as long as she needs (Mr. W. is in on that promise, too).
B. go have lunch with her at least once.

On the mommy-bragging side of things, we requested a particular K teacher for S. One of the instructors is very militant, and I know from the depths of my soul that teacher would be a bad match for S. We picked the teacher we got the warmest fuzzies from during the Kindergarten parent orientation back in February. Additionally, this is the same teacher who was recommended by another faculty friend. Turns out S. is in high demand. We met another Kindergarten teacher at the local museum, and she was impressed enough with S. that she asked the principal if S. could be in her class.

Of course, next year, the teachers will switch from discussing who 'gets' to have S. and who 'has' to have S. Well, maybe not that extreme.

All about L.

L. is a terror to her older sister. There, I've admitted it. My 2 year old is rough and mean. The funny thing is now after L. has bitten, pinched, hit, pushed, thrown at her big sister, she starts shushing S. in a futile attempt to avoid getting in trouble. It's wrong to laugh, but I immediately know when L. has done something wrong. Her shushing noises are not exactly super quiet.

Speaking of aggression, I'm concerned about L.'s lack of speech. Not only is she not understandable by just about anyone besides me, she is trying to enunciate and failing miserably. I'm giving her another couple weeks before I start talking to our doctor. As much as I hate the thought of it, it is very likely time for L.'s hearing and language skills to be examined more closely.

All about me

You know how products very rarely live up to the hype? I have found one that truly does. Oh my goodness, am I happy. It's this tummy sleeve I bought at Motherhood Maternity. It's just spandex/nylon stretchy tube top looking thing. However, you can put it on over your regular button down pants while they are unbuttoned and unzipped. The edge looks a bit like the end of a tank top (black in my case). This sucker holds my pants up, smooths out the lines where everything is unfastened and allows me to put off (perhaps permanently?) switching to those belly-covering maternity slacks and skirts. I'm almost as in love with this thing as I am the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

I have my next doctor's appointment Thursday morning. Hopefully Mr. W. remembers to ask off so he can go. There's nothing quite like listening to that little heart beat to get a guy 'vested' in a pregnancy.

Also, I am definitely feeling the little bean move. Wow! I never expected to feel it so soon.


Sunday, July 29, 2007

Back on the meds

Experiment 'Mrs. W. stupidly goes off her anti-nausea meds' met with abysmal failure. I'm back on, but at half dose. This seems to be giving me better relief than the full dose, but just barely. The doc had offered to write me a script for Zofran, and despite the expense, I plan to take him up on it. The Reglan he wrote me for is horrible. I need to just flush those pills.

On the bright side, S. is getting to watch just as much Rocky & Bullwinkle as she wants. Between my nausea and her strep throat, we're quite a pair this morning.


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Yet another indication I feel rotten

I received my long distance bill today. Total minutes logged in the past month: 9 Mr. W.'s family is all local, so he never logs in long distance time.

Since all of my family and my best friend all live outside my local calling area, this says quite a bit. It is very hard for me to talk on the phone when I feel *ahem* green, so I have pretty much stopped calling everyone. The phone conversations I have had have been very brief. Well, brief for me, who has logged in 2 hour plus phone conversations in the past.

I probably ought to call my mother tonight. She's probably a tiny bit worried.


Flying naked

I am either really, really brave, supremely optimistic or very, very stupid. I skipped my anti nausea medication routine last night.

The vomiting worsened over the past week and a half or so, and I began to suspect that the meds were no longer working. I could be right on that assumption. In fact, since I have yet to yak today, I am beginning to wonder if the meds were actually exacerbating my symptoms.

I'll give it another couple of days before I pass final judgment. All I know with any sort of certainty is that my head is completely clear for the first time in 2 months. The vomitting may be a cheap price to pay for being clear-headed and capable of assisting Mr. W. in the evening. The poor man has had to handle everything from house cleaning to bathing the children to fixing dinner for the last 2 months. I feel rotten about it, and I want that to change.


eta - changing my vote to very, very stupid. I began chucking my up around 8 last night, and I still haven't stopped...

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


This story: has me seeing red. Two middle school boys went around slapping girls on their rear ends and are facing criminal charges.

I am angry that the yahoo district attorney started off swinging. Charging the boys with felonies, threatening to send them to juvie and requiring them to register as life long sex offenders. These kids are stupid 13 year olds.

Don't get me wrong, even if the girls did not mind this sort of touch, it was wrong. I would seriously question my parenting practices if my girls tolerate such behavior at any age! Nobody has the right to violate their person. I don't care if it is thought of as a 'handshake' as one girl is reported to have said. Just because the behavior is generally accepted, it is not necessarily right. The school was 100% correct in handing over these boys.

We have had too many generations of women who grow up thinking that being objectified is okay and normal. It is not.

I am angry that the choices for criminal punishment do not fit the crime. The article gets a little confused, but if I understand properly, the boys would not be permitted to spend time with their younger siblings should they accept a plea bargain Why can we not have a punishment that fits the crime?

Perfect punishment, in my not so very humble opinion:

1. Class time. These boys need a full-blooded in your face accounting of how women have been abused through the centuries. They need to be taught that what they were doing was wrong down to an emotional level. Slapping bottoms today can translate to worse later (Tailhook, anyone?) and even much worse.

2. Penance. Once class time has been completed, heartfelt letters of apology should be sent to each and every girl assaulted. It is up to the girl to decide whether she wants to accept. I feel as the victim, she needs to know that what happened to her was wrong.

3. Probation. These boys will need to keep to the straight and narrow until they reach age 18.

Should my 3rd child be a boy, and should he engage in this kind of behavior, I can virtually guarantee that he will beg the judge to send him to juvie. Anything the courts can dish out will pale in comparison to my wrath. I put up with this kind of garbage through high school, and I will NOT tolerate any child of mine participating in aggressive, demeaning behavior.


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

HP 7 Stats

When I received the book: 5:00 PM July 21
When I finished the book: 2:00 AM July 22
Number neglected people in my house: 3

Number of correct predictions: 3
Number of incorrect predictions: 3 (yes, I know that makes 6 when I only listed 5. One of my predictions falls in both camps, I think).

Overall: I loved the book. Rowling tied up enough loose ends that it was satisfying, but left enough open-ended that I can use my imagination however I see fit.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Oh, cruel world...

I checked the UPS site today, and my copy of Harry Potter 7 is in Waco. It is just waiting to be delivered tomorrow (please let it be morning!!!!!!). I don't know which is worse: not knowing precisely where my precious copy is or knowing precisely where it is and not being able to get my grubby mits on it.

To make matters worse, a former Stampin' Up demo I know is selling all her old stuff at half price. The sale begins tomorrow morning. On top of that, I am committed to a Stampin' Up party at 2:00 tomorrow afternoon. How, oh how, oh how, am I to get that book read and still get to sleep at a decent enough hour that I can drag my sleepy self in to church on Sunday...

Cruel, cruel world.

None today...

No balloons today. Hopefully tomorrow!!!!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Please, just shoot me and let me die now

Oh lord, someone has burned some popcorn. I think I'm going to die from the stench... Either that or spend the rest of the day worshipping before the porcelain goddess...


Mr. W. and I were late to work this morning. This isn't so unusual, but today we were really late. As in 30 minutes late. Why?

Because we had hot air balloons in our backyard early this morning. Okay, not really in our backyard, but they floated right over our swingset and over our roof. I was hauling the garbage out to the curb when I heard a really loud whhhhhoooooooosssssshhhhh that sounded like it was coming from directly behind me. I whirled around and discovered a hot air balloon about 30 feet off the ground right behind our house. He was so low, I don't think he would have cleared our roof. The whoosh was from the driver lighting his gas, and up, up, up he went.

S. was in the garage getting into her carseat, and I called for her to come out and see the balloons. Behind the balloon that got my heart pumping came another dozen or so following near identical paths. Mr. W. came running out of the house with his belt hanging loose to see what was going on. L. wanted to see the bawoooooos too, but the sounds of them firing up the gas scared her a bit. She was fine so long as I had her on my hip...

Mr. W. took pictures and caught some video of the balloons as they sailed by. I'd love to post them, but (and I'm almost ashamed to admit this, LOL) I have dialup at home and it would take forever to load. This also explains why there are precious few photos on my blog. It is the work of 15 to 20 minutes to upload a single small one.

I'm beginning to hate YouTube. So much hysterical-ness, and so little bandwidth. Work internet speed is much faster, but the nanny program keeps me out of such sordidness as YouTube (and even The Leaky Cauldron sob, sob).

Back on task. It was too funny passing everybody parked on the side of the road to watch the balloons sail by (including the jocks at the high school). Our little town is part of a balloon race course this year. Here's an article from the Waco paper, I think you have to sign in (but it's free).

Monday, July 16, 2007

Could it???? nah

I keep feeling this faint little swirly waaaayyy down low in my belly and only when my bladder is completely empty. It's way too soon to feel the baby, right? Right?

ETA: I'm only 11 weeks (even though it feels like an eternity of puking)

Bad News

A dear PIM is dealing with a terrible, terrible burden right now. Her husband was diagnosed with a devastating illness several months ago, one for which there is no cure. I don't know how she continues to put one foot in front of the other each and every day. I think she is amazing.

Her story has brought and continues to bring me to tears. Please, take a moment and appreciate those around you that you love. Be grateful for them and be thankful they are in your life, because there are no guarantees...

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Pure Speculation...

I am so excited about 'Deathly Hallows' being released, I can't hardly stand it! So after gazing into my admittedly cracked crystal ball, I have the following speculations and predictions. I will be greatly surprised if any of 'em come true.

1. Hagrid is among the casualties in 'Deathly Hallows.' Makes sense as the rest of Harry's mentors have met untimely ends.

2. Snape is not evil. My guess is that Snape is the tragic figure in the series. His wants and realities crash, and he cannot find happiness in this lifetime. He loved in vain (Lily), he swore allegiance in vain (Dumbledore), he tries in vain to get past his grudge against Harry's father. Nothing in Snape's life has gone well. Harry comes to appreciate this and develop compassion for this lost soul. Compassion for those who are trapped in their own weaknesses is lacking in Harry as of the end of book 6. I hope Rowling grows Harry in this area of his character.

3. Pettigrew plays a key role in foiling Voldemort.

4. The locket Kreature hid is one of the horcruxes.

5. The book ends with the wedding of Fleur and I-can't-remember-Weasley-boy's-name. The series just has to end on a positive, life goes on and the future is bright note, doesn't it? Doesn't it?!

Any other takers?

I've been tagged!

I think this is the first time I've been tagged. I'm pretty clueless, though, so if you've tagged me and I didn't answer, I'm sorry!

Thanks, Jen for poppin' my Tag cherry, LOL.

1) I must post 7 random things about me:
  • I get a kick driving Mr. W.'s big honking red truck, even if it doesn't have air conditioning.
  • I've never been drunk
  • I learned more German in college in the US than I did the 5 years I actually lived in the Bundesrepublik
  • When I was in high school, I took electronics classes because I wanted to study electrical engineering and work on robotics with Jim Henson. I was a rabid puppeteer and spent many weekends performing in hospitals, kids parties, etc.
  • I have no sense of fashion and prefer to wear one color at a time. Yes, it is entirely possible you will see me on What Not to Wear.
  • My favorite tv series of all time is 'Babylon 5' followed by 'Star Trek: Voyager"
  • I think Hagrid dies in 'Deathly Hallows'

2) Tag 7 other bloggers :

  • Okay, everybody I checked to try to tag has already been done! pbbbttt on me for being so slow, LOL. If you haven't been tagged and you're reading this, then it goes to prove I'm a dork, and please consider yourself tagged. Just let me know so I can read the juicy bits.

3) Post Rules & the bloggers I tagged here.

4) Leave tagged bloggers comments on their web sites so that they know they have been tagged.

I totally Rock!

Thanks, EJ for giving me this (it took me this long to figure out how to insert the picture!).

You totally rock, yourself!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

It's a baby... or an alien.

For your viewing pleasure:

It's an alien!!! The ob I settled on (boy do I wish I could go to my family doc) just had to take his own pictures of the little bean. Isn't he cute? I think he looks just like me.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Tired, very tired

Mr. W. has worked every day since the tail end of May. This includes weekends and 4th of July. Not only has he been in the office every day, but he hasn't been getting home until 7 or 8 at night.

I'm tired. Very, very tired. I think maybe I'll ask the in-laws if they want the girls to spend Friday or Saturday night with them. The girls would really enjoy it, and I think Grandma and Grandpa would as well. I know I would enjoy being able to sleep in for once and not have to worry about feeding anyone but myself for a meal or two.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

This kid has expensive tastes

My first pregnancy, my biggest cravings were for Mac & Cheese out of a box and lemon drops. Everything was better with a lemon drop or some macaroni & cheese. Second pregnancy, it was Chick Fil A chicken biscuits and sour gummis. I would drag myself out of bed early in order to have time to swing through the drive-thru. This go around, I keep thinking I want lemon-flavored things, but then they turn my stomach. Chick Fil A just doesn't sound good at all. However, I think I could eat three meals a day of Outback's blue cheese pecan chopped salad (yes, I asked, and the blue cheese is pasteurized) and their bread this go around. We cannot afford to satisfy this craving as much as I'd like (plus the place doesn't even open until 4 pm).

I'm guessing this is going to be my caviar baby.

On the bright side, smearing ginger juice all over my belly really seems to help the morning sickness! I have not been sick since Monday. Nauseated, oh yes, but I've kept everything down for 2 whole days in a row!!! I thought I was going to lose it this afternoon, but 20 minutes after rubbing freshly cut ginger in my belly button, I felt okay. Hallelujah and let the angels sing!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

True, false, multiple choice

You are given one crazy pregnant woman at the end of a long day at work. She is home alone with two high-energy little girls, one of whom is not potty-trained. Her husband is supposed to be home any minute. The girls fussed during dinner, and then stripped down to nothing afterward when crazy pregnant woman sat down for just one minute. The non-potty-trained child has had a massive, smelly, ooey-gooey poopy nasty diaper and removed it. Crazy pregnant woman (who is also extremely nauseated) tries to call her husband to find out where precisely he is so that she can perhaps avoid having to deal with the mess only to have his cell phone roll over to voice mail.

The crazy pregnant woman:

a) calmly deals with the poopy mess, cleans off the worst of it and begins bathing the two children.

b) not so calmly deals with the poopy mess, while wishing it wasn't raining so she could just turn the garden hose on said poopy booty.

c) extremely angrily dials and re-dials and re-dials her husband's cell phone, leaving messages along the lines of 'you need to come home now' and 'where are you, I need you home NOW' all while screaming WHERE IS HE!!!! causing her elder child to ask what mommy was going on about and then cursing under her breath while trying not to breathe, or look at the poopy mess while wiping it off her cherub's tushie, and dumps both kids in the shower while still trying not to breathe since the bathroom reeks of nasty poop and then, when her husband FINALLY comes home, yells at him that he has to change the trash out of the bathroom AND give the kids a bath, because she needs to go someplace and calm down and so she sits down and writes a random blog engry.

Correct answer: A, just kidding, it was C. *sigh* I do feel better now. And by 'better' I mean that I don't want to pack an over-week bag and just leave. Maybe I'll go to Sonic and get some fried cheese. Fried cheese sounds good...

Quack, quack

I live in central Texas (motto: we have gorgeous wild flowers and grass fires), and it is freaking RAINING AGAIN. This is July. It should be 100 degrees with a burn ban in effect, not 80-something and flash flood warnings. I'm really beginning to buy in to TJ's weather machine theory.

Oh well, at least I'm not scared to death of a wildfire burning down our neighborhood this year. The bog around our neighborhood is just too swampy.

On the lighter side, the lawn police were after us last month. Apparently our grass was just too tall and considered to be a fire hazard. Couple things wrong with that. 1) It has been raining so hard and so often that it's been difficult for Mr. W. to get the mower out (excessive rain=fire hazard?); 2) It's not like the grass was so tall we could hide anything worse than a bunny (and did I mention all the rain?). I figure if our grass is shorter than the grass in the medians, then we're not that bad, LOL. I also figure that people are less concerned about fire hazard than our little letter of warning would have us think.

I have a new rash around my belly button

You know that saying, 'Desperate times call for desperate measures.'? (how am I supposed to punctuate that?) Well, this girl is desperate with a capital 'D.' Desperate, desperate, desperate. The nausea has gotten worse in the past couple days, and I am willing to try out any whack-o, loonie home remedy that I haven't tried before (and which doesn't involve excessive illegal narcotics).

Last night, after taking my Unisom and vitamin B-6 supplement, I went to the kitchen. I lobbed off a small chunk of the fresh ginger that Mr. W. picked up earlier. That chunk was then diced into little bitty pieces. (and here's the good part) Then, I stuffed those little pieces into my belly button (go ahead and laugh, I don't mind) and put scotch tape over the little pile to keep it in place.

I am apparently, slightly allergic to the sticky on scotch tape (either that, or it's pretty irritating) because at midnight, I had to take the tape off and dump the little bits of ginger in the trash since I was itching like crazy. Because of the effects of the Unisom, I was too groggy to do a good job clearing off the left over sticky. So this morning, I woke with my pajamas stuck to my red, itchy belly.

On the bright side, I haven't thrown up today, and the nausea isn't too, too bad. Maybe my little experiment in desperation worked. I'll give it another go tonight, but I plan to use the medical tape we have on hand instead of scotch...

Monday, July 02, 2007

Actuarial, schmactuarial...

My latest professional development endeavor swirls around actuarial exams. These are really nasty exams given by really snotty, arrogant individuals who all think these exams are MUCH easier than the ones they had to suffer through. I have seen complaints that *gasp* today's candidates actually get to use financial calculators and aren't required to use slide rules. yeah...

Three years ago, I planned to sit for preliminary exam 2, Financial Mathematics. Lovely stuff about interest rates, IRR, put, call and assorted other financial gobbledygook. Lo and behold, I turned up pregnant and could not stop barfing long enough to study anything non-porcelain related. History has repeated itself to a certain extent. I am currently doing in-depth porcelain studies, but I will study for and maybe pass this exam come November. I will I will I will!

My new nearly-favorite website is this one: Actuarial Outpost Exam 2/FM - Financial Mathematics. For real entertainment, check it out on July 13 when the latest exam results will have been posted. I can guarantee weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Meanwhile, I'm visiting it because some of the individuals who hock study guides post practice questions (and their solutions!) for free.

I'm also visiting that site so that I can start feeling really badly about my chances of passing...
Degree in math? nope
High gpa in college? nope
Obscenely high SAT? apparently 1420 doesn't cut it (680 math, 740 verbal way back in the dark ages)
Degree in finance? nope
Any kind of advanced math? Does 1st semester calculus 17 years ago count? nope
No life, no family, no kids, no major morning sickness to distract me? nope

So far, I've logged in somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 hours' study time and can successfully work 5 sample problems pulled from previous exams. This sounds impressive until you realize the problem bank is somewhere around 300 problems. So it looks like I can work 1 2/3% of the problems. I need somewhere around 300 hours in order to stand a reasonable chance of passing. This is going to be verrrrrrry interesting.

I ordered a study guide last week and received e-mail confirmation that they are shipping my order. New definition for an optimist: Spending $130 on study materials for Mrs. W. to sit for an actuarial exam.

This weekend's topic: Simple and compound interest, present value and future value
Tonight I will be looking at discount rates... Fun!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Now this, is pitiful

While Aimee at Greeblemonkey is enjoying the wonders of the iPhone, I am studying for an exam coming up in November. For those of you interested in the particulars, it is one of the preliminary actuarial exams. Yes, folks I am up to my ears in interest theory.

Anyhoo, these pesky actuaries expect candidates to have a more than decent understanding of certain mathematic principles when they sit for the exams. The one area I fall flat for math is memorizing. In particular, memorizing the quadratic formula. It's sad, I know, but I never DID actually fully, permanently memorize one of the more basic and well-used formulae. No, I spend waaaaayyyyy too much time trying to factor equations. That will not be an option for this timed exam.

In my internet quest for the formula, I found this little website: and have downloaded 'The Quadratic Formula Song' It strikes me as being something Aimee's Brian would invent (were he to take a mind for making calculus fun...).

Maybe with a *ahem* catchy tune, I will finally, finally manage to memorize this sucker.

Over 2aaaa, over 2aaaa, over 2aaaa... mmmmm quadratic formula...

Friday, June 29, 2007

T-minus 22 days!!!!


As the pregnancy turns...

First, let me just say how much I adoooooore the pregnancy hormones than turn me in to a raging, weeping, barfing mad lunatic.

Yesterday, I finally got around to calling my doctor's office in order to schedule my first ob appointment. This is the same doc I have gone to for 9 years. He delivered both of my babies, and takes care of my entire family's aches, pains and regular vaccinations. I am somewhat attached to him and the way he practices medicine. Okay, I am VERY attached to the way he practices medicine.

Imagine my disappointment when I was told he no longer delivers babies. In fact, NONE of the doctors in his practice delivers babies any more (and haven't for nearly a year). My reaction to this news was to very quietly and rationally hang up the phone and burst into tears. Yes, full-blown tears streaming down my face. AND. I. COULD. NOT. MAKE. THEM. STOP!

A little background is in order here. My alternative to the family practice clinic is the ob clinic nearby (gotta love an HMO!). I had dealings with one of the OB's there when pregnant with S. and then again during labor with S. that *ahem* did not go well. In short, I would rather perform a c-section on myself in a parking lot with a rusty knife than allow this woman anywhere near me again while I am in labor.

Anyhoo, so I dissolved into tears at around 1:05 pm (gotta love cell-phone call history) with visions of this hideous monster of an obstetrician delivering my baby. At 2:18 pm (gotta love Outlook), I e-mailed Mr. W. and asked him to take me home. After a (very short) negotiation, he agreed. I managed to stop crying for 10 minutes to put on make-up and scoot out the front door (oh the things I am proud of...). Once I got in the van, the tears started up again, and did not stop for a good 2 hours.

I called my mom in tears. I watched the news in tears. I ate peanut butter cup ice cream in tears. Once I got to the point where I could finally speak coherently, I called the ob clinic and scheduled my first official ob appointment. I have met and been seen by the ob I chose to take over my prenatal care on a couple occasions. I have a decent feeling about him, and he is supposed to be the least interventionist of the doctors there. However, if I think about that woman delivering my baby, I lose that good feeling. (sigh) Did I mention that I loooooove pregnancy hormones?


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Funny at work

Conversation with Sales VP and his secretary while discussing end of year bonus issues.

Me: I want to let you know that there may be a few issues concerning end of year retro incentive. I will be on maternity leave when that kicks off, but I am working on procedures to ensure it goes as smoothly as possible in my absence.

Secretary: So, does that mean you're pregnant?

VP: Yes, I do believe it does.

Secretary: Weren't you, like, that way a year ago.

Me (laughing really hard by now): More like 3 years ago. The baby turned 2 back in February.

M.W. (still laughing)

L.'s new trick

As if we weren't exhausted enough. Between pregnancy for me and insane work hours for Mr. W., we've also added in the new and oh-so-fun fact that L. can climb in and out of her crib at will. This, in fact, she did until after ten o'clock last night. It is time to break out the big girl beds...

Monday, June 25, 2007

Updates all over the place

My Niece
Her court date was week before last. The judge was NOT happy about the plea bargain where my niece would do 10 years probation and told her so in no uncertain terms. He also added the restriction that my niece is not to be alone with any of her children for the next 10 years. 10 years where she cannot be alone with her child over a stupid accident... I hate this for her.

Ultrasound on Friday showed a heartbeat located in the uterus! I'm still having twinges and assume it is just a cyst, but I still haven't heard the official report from the doc.

I am reduced to pretty much eating jello and pudding as those don't hurt when they come back up.

I hate, loathe, despise, detest, etc. etc. etc. being pregnant. It is worth it in the end, but gee, if I could pick up a baby at Target, I'd be delighted. The only reason we go through pregnancy rather than adopt is because I do love the breastfeeding experience.

I hate the nausea and constant vomitting that lasts 6 months for me. I hate the baby kicking and adding to the constant seasick sensations. I hate being so uncomfortable. I hate feeling like I'm sharing my body with a little parasite for nine months. I hate the constipation. I hate the stretchmarks. Really, there is nothing about pregnancy I enjoy. Nothing.

It took me awhile to accept that and to realize it did not make me less of a woman or mother. Nor does it mean I love my children less. Nor does it mean I do not value the privilege of carrying a child. These all hold true, but I am miserable the entire nine months. For those of us who struggle with the 'ideal beaming pregnant mother' and falling short, there is nothing wrong with us. (((hugs))) to the other miserably pregnant.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Just for Greeblemonkey

So, I was, like, in the bathroom, and like, you know, hurling up breakfast. Wouldn't you know there'd be someone else in there. She was like, are you okay? I was like, yeah, it's like morning sickness. No big. She was like, do you want me to get Mr. W? And like, I was like totally touched she was being so, like thoughtful and all.

I totally told her everything was cool, but she, like, went to Mr. W. and told him his wife was barfing in the bathroom.

I guess my little secret is, like totally out there now. Fer shure.

Friday, June 15, 2007

This time the bucket is red

It seems like the only time we buy a new bucket around here is when I'm pregnant. I don't remember the bucket from my pregnancy with S. I tried really hard to block that out, LOL. With L. it was a pretty baby blue bucket that went with me everywhere. I have vivid memories of me and that bucket behind the Shipley's Donuts when taking S. to daycare one morning... ah, the memories.

This go around, the bucket is a really cheerful bright red. I think I'm growing attached to my bucket. This is a good thing since I spend more time with that bucket than with Mr. W. Poor guy. I don't snuggle up to him. He's been replaced by my shiny red companion.

There's just something special about the relationship between a girl and her barf bucket.

And I'll have you know I only had one communing session with the bucket while writing this post. I suppose it's good to still be sick, but if I'm going to lose this pregnancy, the least the pregnancy gods could do was spare me the constant vomitting. Especially after I decided a turkey pot pie sounded good for breakfast. Baaaaad idea...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

I had fun at lunch today

I presided over and ran the Table Topics portion of my company's Toastmasters club. Neither of our speakers could make it to the meeting, so I did up Table Topics a little differently. Normally, during the Table Topics portion of the meeting, the Table Topics master gives a topic to each person, who then gives a 45 second to 1 minute 15 second speech over that topic.

The company has been on a big push lately with Customer Service, and I thought a complement to that initiative would be handling sticky situations. I gave each of the attendees a sheet of paper listing seven sticky situations that I personally experienced in recent memory. Each member was asked to either pick a scenario off the list or describe one from their own experience. Then, the speaker would give a short talk on how he/she would have handled the situation. Once everyone in attendance gave a short talk, I switched gears and we had a good 15 minute discussion. We talked about how to tell a customer 'no' and what to do when your supervisor said something you knew was incorrect in a high-level meeting.

Just in case you were curious, the sticky situations were:

1. You have been asked to evaluate a speech given by a novice speaker. The speaker struggled through the speech. You spoke to the speaker before the meeting and found out that the speaker was worried about nerves but was very excited about the topic of the speech.

2. A customer has asked you for information, and you are unable to provide it for him/her.

3. Your supervisor has given a presentation and has asked for your feedback. Overall, you thought the presentation was great, but there were a couple areas that needed improvement.

4. An angry customer has called you and insists that you can help him with his problem. However, he has somehow reached the entirely wrong department, and you are unsure who can help him.

5. You have been working as a team member on a major project. Close to the deadline, you realize that you gave other members of the team wrong information. This means there will be additional work for the team, but the project deadline remains unchanged.

6. You are attending a meeting with your supervisor and other more senior staff. During the course of the meeting, your supervisor makes a statement that you know is incorrect.

7. A customer has asked for special consideration, and you find that the customer is not eligible for that consideration.

All in all, I was impressed with the maturity and professionalism of our little group. I hope the others came away from the meeting with an additional tool or two to pull out when the next sticky situation arises. I know I did.

Wishing I had ignored that blasted pain in my side

Levels went up, but didn't double. Doc wants me to have another ultrasound next week to see if there is a fetal pole. (sigh)

I am so sick and miserable I can't stand it. Mr. W. is stuck and can't take me home (we ride together). I guess this is okay since I'd just be throwing myself a pity party at home.

If I lose this pregnancy, I'm not doing this again... My kids are picking up on the stress and are seriously acting out. S. misbehaved so badly during her swimming lesson yesterday, that she knocked another kid into the water. Naturally, it was the youngest, most frightened kid. L. is whining and clinging all over the place. Mr. W. is stressed about handling everything while I am so out of commission. On top of that (and this is really silly), we are in complete disagreement with respect to girl names.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Results are in, sort of

Finally head back from the doc:

1. There is something that is probably a yolk sac in the uterus. It's too soon to really tell if there is a true bean in the sac. Odds are pretty good, though.

2. There is definitely something on my right ovary. It's probably a cyst, but there is a chance it is ectopic. This is odd since I feel the twinging on my left side.

3. There isn't anything on the left ovary.

4. If my hcg results come back tomorrow doubled from where they stood Monday, then I'm in good shape.

Deep breaths.

Still waiting, waiting, waiting...

This is killing me. Aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh!

I did talk to my best friend last night, and she assured me that they wouldn't have let me leave if there had been something truly awful going on. She's right, but I'm still biting my nails.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

for the doc to call with my ultrasound results. First blood test came back with high levels, so that's good. Now I just want to hear that the tech found one intrauterine bean... They'll be drawing blood again tomorrow, and I'll get the results on that Thursday.

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Monday, June 11, 2007

Step away from the bulletin board...

I left a snarky reply on a public bulletin board directed toward women with morning sickness. A couple of 'enlightened' women decided to post that morning sickness was all in the mind. Oh please!

I'm not proud, but honestly, who goes around gloating about how good their fortune is to a bunch of people who are experiencing the opposite?

M.W. the hormonal and nauseated

Because Joansy asked, this is what I posted:

Well, aren't you the fortunate ones. You know, some people claim that pain in childbirth is all in your mindset. Along with PMS and menstrual cramps. Just because you are fortunate, it doesn't mean the rest of us will share in your good fortune. And, you know, since I never had back pain in pregnancy, that must all be in my mind, too.

I'm almost sorry about the snarkiness of this post, but I've endured horrible, horrible morning sickness with all three of my pregnancies. I almost hate women who haven't endured this misery and are oh-so-happy to share that with me. The morning sickness board probably isn't the best place to share your good news.

fwiw, I've spent time last pregnancy and this one consciously meditating on feeling good and channeling positive energy. I'm still having violent vomitting. Apparently, my mind just isn't in the right place.

Going back to my nice place now. Congratulations on your healthy pregnancies.

Goin' to the doc

Wouldn't ya know that my regular doc is out of the office today, so I get to see someone I've never been to before. joy...

I'm annoyed with the appointment clerk, and know I should just drop it. When she asked me how many months pregnant I was, I told her 5.5 weeks. She asked me when I found out, and I told her May 31 (yeah, yeah, it was actually the 28th, so sue me). She then assured me that I was actually 7.5 weeks or more. Oh, please. I decided not to argue with her, but I know my cycle. I will be 6 weeks on Thursday. I don't need a snotty appointment clerk to tell me differently!

I have a 3:00 appointment, and I don't wanna goooooo.... (hear the whine? I get it from my kids). I do plan to ask for a script for the morning sickness. I'm not even 6 weeks, and it's already spiraling out of control.


Post appointment update: Doc is convinced that everything is fine. However, he's ordered a quantitative hCG and an ultrasound just to make sure. I go back tomorrow for the ultrasound and then again on Wednesday for the second blood draw.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Trying not to worry

Ugh. I've been having occasional twinging in my left ovary. Guess I'll be going to the doc a little earlier than I'd intended. I don't think it's an ectopic pregnancy, but I ought to get it checked out just to make sure. If it's still bothering me on Tuesday, I'll go in. The nice thing about my doc is that 99% of the time, I get in the day I call. The other 1% is because he's out of the office that day.

If it gets worse, I guess I'll be making an ER run later this weekend. (sigh)


Sunday night update: Thanks for all the well wishes. It hasn't gotten any worse, but I'm still twingy. Thinking maybe I'll call in on Monday rather than waiting 'til Tuesday. I'm pretty sure it's a cyst since it doesn't seem to be worsening, and I've had no bleeding or other scary symptoms. I had a corpuse luteal cyst when pg with L. and this feels pretty similar. But if it isn't, I sure don't want to mess around. Nothing like having someone you know nearly die from a ruptured tube to make a gal take things seriously.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I swear they weren't there yesterday...

I have 3, count 'em 3, long hairs on my face. These aren't the normal dark coarse ones that sprout from the mole on my chin and that I pluck on on a weekly basis (yech). No, these are baby fine to the point of being nearly invisible. However, these suckers are each at least an inch long. Where did they come from? Are they some kind of magical quick-growing hair? Is this going to be my future? Will I wake up one morning covered in baby-fine fur?

Inquiring minds...

Wednesday, June 06, 2007


I'm still at work, waiting for my data to finish loading so I can send my department head the numbers he won't look at for another couple of weeks (bitter, me?).

Since this is way after regular business hours, I break one of the cardinal rules and listen to streaming audio. My favorite station right now is 98.7 the River of Savanah, Georgia. I originally come from that part of the country and love listening to the local flavor.

The Delilah show is on now. That kind of soft pop appeals to me tremendously when I'm stuck working really late. It always throws me, though. I tend to have Delilah on the radio on the way home, too. Since Georgia is Eastern time zone and Texas is Central, I always get major de ja vu listening to what I heard an hour ago. Confusing, isn't it?


And so it continues...

4th test was also positive. I didn't take a picture, though. Maybe I can fish it out of the trash?

Ugh. I feel like crap right now. Dizzy, tired, HUNGRY, nauseated all together. Unfortunately, I can't do a blessed thing about any of that right now since I am still at work for at least another couple hours.

Cast of Characters: Freddie Nemo Wheezer

Along back in April, we had a 5th birthday party for S. The theme was 'The Little Mermaid.' My mother asked if she could give S. a betta fish as a present. I told her it was okay, thinking we'd pretty much ignore the thing while it sat there and did nothing.

Mom brought us Freddie (or is it Freddy, S. can't spell just yet). Freddie is blue with red fins, and Freddie is neurotic. The little guy sits in his glass bowl in the center of our kitchen table. We have dinner with Freddie usually six days a week, as well as most breakfasts and lunches on the weekends. The thing is, Freddie just about poops himself anytime someone moves, makes a sound, looks at him cross-eyed, etc. If we didn't have a cover over his bowl, I'm certain he'd have done the belly-flop of death out of his bowl and onto our kitchen table by now.

His glass house has one of those big leafy plants sitting on top with the roots going into the water. Freddie frequently gets himself tangled up in the roots and then thrashes around until he comes zipping out toward the bottom of the bowl. I don't know, maybe the fish needs a valium... and I need to sleep.


Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Update to the Broccoli question

Per the USDA food nutrient database:

*drumroll please*

The floret of the broccoli (raw) has more Vitamin A than the stalk. All other nutritional values provided were identical. Thank you very much. I will now skip eating broccoli stalks with no guilt. LOL


Some people are just bullies

The daughter of one of our secretaries is expecting her first baby later this month. The women this girl works with have been horrible to her. Between yanking her chain concerning work hours and then forcing her to listen to every pregnancy/labor/delivery horror story in the book, they are turning Lori into a nervous wreck.

I hate people who prey on pregnant women, especially first time mommies to be. Whether it's telling horror stories or reaching out to touch her belly without permission, it is bullying and wrong. Ugh! I'm just seething about this. If she weren't nearly 9 months pregnant, she could go job hunting, but as it is, she is stuck. Oooooh!!!!

Clothing dilemma

Starting this year, I started giving away my maternity clothes (the nice ones, not the icky ones that were falling apart). When I started giving out boxes of clothes, the mommies all asked me if I wanted them back. I answered, of course not.

For the most part, I don't really want them back... However, there is one nice black dress that will be great when I'm huge. How tacky would I be to ask the mommy if I could borrow it for a few months? She's on maternity leave right now, so I don't think she'll need it again for a bit, LOL. Okay, I won't really ask for anything back. But if people offer, I'll accept. I'm not proud.

My mom would say that it was time for new clothes. That's a novel concept. Hardly any of my maternity clothes were brand new. I accepted hand-me-downs and purchased stuff off e-bay for maternity wear. Buying new for the 3rd kid feels odd. Maybe I'll start frequenting the local consignment shops...


This is new and different

We made it to the zoo on Sunday. S. and L. had a ball playing in the water sprinklers (who needs to see monkeys when you can watch a pack of half-dressed kids getting soaked). Unfortunately, the festivities had to be cut a trifle short due to *ahem* intestinal problems. Turns out that the same hormone surges that cause morning sickness can also trigger *ahem* intestinal issues. New one on me, but I am getting to experience it firsthand. blech

I still haven't put a call in to the doc yet. Perhaps end of June, I'll call to get set up as an ob patient. I'm in absolutely no hurry to go in (heck, it's been 2 years since my last PAP), but I guess I ought to before too long.

When I was pregnant with S. and then with L., I had a call in to our doc before the urine had dried on the stick. I'm much more relaxed this go around. For example, I had a nausea-free day today (until about 2 minutes ago, yuck). Instead of fretting that there was something wrong, I've enjoyed actually feeling good while pregnant. This is a rare, rare thing for a gal who had 6 months of severe morning sickness with each of her two pregnancies.


Saturday, June 02, 2007

I love that kid

Mr. W had to work all day today, so it was just me and the girls. Our big plan for the day was to go to the zoo so we could play in the water part. It took us forever to get out of the house because: A) I slept like crap last night (again), and felt like I was wading through wet cement. B) L. was behaving like the contrary 2 year old she is. and C) S. could not stay focused on such complex tasks as putting her shoes on.

By the time we left the house, it was 10:40. Mr. W had loaded the recycling in the back of the van, so we swung by the recycling center. Note to self: They do not take green glass. By then, it was 11, so I offered to pick up a pizza for Mr. W and a couple of other people stuck at work on Saturday. Pizza was delivered at 11:30. Then we stopped at Burger King for lunch and some play land time. Question to self: Why on earth would a fast food joint with a play land NOT have a changing table?

By then, L. had indulged in full-bodied screaming, so we went home instead of to the zoo. The plan was for the girls to take naps, and then we'd head out. If we didn't make it to the zoo, then we'd set up the wading pool in the backyard. However, I was so exhausted, I could hardly keep my eyes open, and neither of those things happened.

At bath time tonight, S. pulled her lower lip and said that we had not set up the pool. I sat her down and asked her if she remembered us telling her that we were going to have another baby. She answered yes, and I went into the whole 'pregnant mommies are very tired' routine and apologized for not doing the things we planned today. She hugged me and asked if I would feel better when the baby was here. I answered that I would feel better sooner than that. She sat for a minute and said, 'How about if I pretend my bath is my pool.' I told her that was a fine idea. She scampered off to put her clothes in the dirty clothes and announced she was going to change into her pretend Ariel swimsuit. Happy as a clam and not grumpy with me at all.

I hate to disappoint her, and I will suck it up and take her there tomorrow. Of course, since Mr. W should be home, I think it will be far more likely.


Friday, June 01, 2007

From S.

You're my favorite mommy, and you're my only mommy.


It's an illness..

Oldest one is up top. LOLOLOLOL

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Public Service Announcement

Post Partum Depression is serious and real. Very, very real. Please take a moment to check out a brand new blog dedicated to sharing stories of PPD. I had a mere touch of it after S. was born and a stronger touch of it after L. was born (but that was probably more due to the stress a broken foot put on me). I was extremely fortunate that mine resolved on its own with little more than some sun exposure and taking care about what I ate. Others are not so lucky.

Check it out: and if you have a story of your own to share, please do.


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I am losing it

So this morning during my nausea-hazed stagger to the bathroom, I grabbed the new pg test Mr. W. purchased for me yesterday. Because, you know, the pink test may have been lying and the blue test could tell me a different story. It didn't. Still pregnant and now wondering how much money I will waste peeing on sticks.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Oh boy...

or girl...

Yeppers, that there is a positive pregnancy test. I think I've lost my mind to want a third child. If I could be 100% positive that this little bean will 'stick' I think I'd be over the moon (as well as into the toilet). As it is, I'm cautiously very happy.

I haven't really made the announcement with my family, so we'll see if any of them are still reading the bloggy wog. Personally, I think they got bored and forgot all about it, LOL.

It's the wee small hours, and I should be in bed sleeping. However, there are too many things turning round in my head not to mention my stomach.
Let the pukefest begin!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I am a mean, mean mommy

S. decided to have a not so great day at school yesterday. Apparently, she vented her frustrations by spitting on her friends on multiple occasions. Not cool.

When we picked her up, her teachers told us about her little spitfest. The full range of motherly emotions from embarrassment all the way through deep anger swooshed through. However, I managed to take a deep breath and talk to her.

In true mother of the year fashion, I laid into her with a major guilt trip.

Me: How would you feel if your friends spit on you?
Me: Would it hurt your feelings?
S.: Yes
Me: Don't you think it hurt the feelings of your friends when you spit on them?
S.: Yes
Me: God doesn't want us to treat our friends that way.
Me: What you did was mean and very rude.
This is when S. starts tearing up.
S.: You're being mean to me, Mommy.
Me: No, I'm making sure you understand that what you did was wrong and hurtful.
After that, she turned into a weepy cling-on for pretty much the rest of the evening.

I feel badly that I made her cry, but it had to be done. She initially thought the whole spitting thing was hilarious. {sigh}


Saturday, May 19, 2007

I have turned into an old geezer

This is one of those days where I'm feeling my age and wondering what on earth happened to that homesick 18 year old who first came to Texas with nothing but two suitcases, a carry-on and a blanket I had mailed to myself. I have vivid memories standing in line at the university bookstore to purchase my first semester textbooks. I had enough money to buy one plane ticket back home to Germany, but once those books were purchased, I wouldn't. I seriously debated with myself, and I wonder if I would have chucked it all and run if the line had been just the teeniest bit longer.

Anyway, I am remembering that kid today.

For starters, I had to take the mini-van in so that the tires could be rotated and balanced. A mini-van? Me? While waiting for the guys at Discount Tire to get to my vehicle, I wound up talking to a young man who was buying tires for his Mustang GT. Through the course of our chitchat, he let me know he is 27 years old, his wife is expecting their first next month and he loves to race. Geez, it seems like just yesterday, I was cruising the Autobahn and doing a (legal) 100 mph. Now I drive a mini-van...

I got home and tried (in vain) to get my two children to take a nap. We were planning to meet up with some old friends of mine from college days, one of whom I haven't seen in 12 years. 12 years? Did I really graduate 13 years ago? 13?

Mr. W and I wound up dragging two exhausted children to a lunch followed by a wander around the old university campus. We saw the bears that live in the center of campus and even saw a couple horses. I have no idea why there was a horse trailer in the middle of a construction zone. We even stopped by the memorial for all students who have died in residence. One of them was a dear friend of mine. He was a hemophiliac in a time before there was a good HIV screen for blood donors... I rubbed my fingers over his name and thought once again how he should have been running around campus with his own family, visiting old haunts. It's been 15 years since his passing.

I had good conversation with old friends. Even though we haven't seen much of each other since graduation days, we still have strong bonds that let us take up like there hadn't been a huge gulf of time.

I am content with the person I am, and I plan to feel that way about the person I become. Although, I still wonder what happened to that shy, insecure, terribly frightened 18 year old who came to Texas completely on her own with nothing but two suitcases, a carry-on and the blanket she mailed to herself.


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The thrill is gone

I can feel it creeping up on me. It starts out with having a hard time falling asleep and then waking up every two hours all night long. It progresses on to wanting to sleep all day long and feeling paralyzed when faced with a task even slightly difficult. From there, it turns into an inability to focus on things that I really enjoy doing and typically find relaxing.

I'm referring to going through one of my depressive cycles. It's not bad right now, but I'm thrown that I am having one at all. Spring is typically a great time of the year for me mental health wise. However, the past two or three weeks have been a bit of a bummer.

It's probably not a big deal. People who don't deal with 'depression' per se still experience bouts of the feeling that nothing is producing any sort of inspiration.

Ah well. At the ripe old age of 35, I've been through enough of these to know when I need to seek professional help, and I'm confident that this too shall pass. Meanwhile, I'm living in the land of the 'blahs.'

Truth be told, the fact that I'm able to pinpoint it and blog about it indicates I'm probably coming back out of the cycle. This is good since I have a half dozen Mother's day cards I need to make tonight and tomorrow!