Thursday, May 31, 2007

Public Service Announcement

Post Partum Depression is serious and real. Very, very real. Please take a moment to check out a brand new blog dedicated to sharing stories of PPD. I had a mere touch of it after S. was born and a stronger touch of it after L. was born (but that was probably more due to the stress a broken foot put on me). I was extremely fortunate that mine resolved on its own with little more than some sun exposure and taking care about what I ate. Others are not so lucky.

Check it out: and if you have a story of your own to share, please do.


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I am losing it

So this morning during my nausea-hazed stagger to the bathroom, I grabbed the new pg test Mr. W. purchased for me yesterday. Because, you know, the pink test may have been lying and the blue test could tell me a different story. It didn't. Still pregnant and now wondering how much money I will waste peeing on sticks.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Oh boy...

or girl...

Yeppers, that there is a positive pregnancy test. I think I've lost my mind to want a third child. If I could be 100% positive that this little bean will 'stick' I think I'd be over the moon (as well as into the toilet). As it is, I'm cautiously very happy.

I haven't really made the announcement with my family, so we'll see if any of them are still reading the bloggy wog. Personally, I think they got bored and forgot all about it, LOL.

It's the wee small hours, and I should be in bed sleeping. However, there are too many things turning round in my head not to mention my stomach.
Let the pukefest begin!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I am a mean, mean mommy

S. decided to have a not so great day at school yesterday. Apparently, she vented her frustrations by spitting on her friends on multiple occasions. Not cool.

When we picked her up, her teachers told us about her little spitfest. The full range of motherly emotions from embarrassment all the way through deep anger swooshed through. However, I managed to take a deep breath and talk to her.

In true mother of the year fashion, I laid into her with a major guilt trip.

Me: How would you feel if your friends spit on you?
Me: Would it hurt your feelings?
S.: Yes
Me: Don't you think it hurt the feelings of your friends when you spit on them?
S.: Yes
Me: God doesn't want us to treat our friends that way.
Me: What you did was mean and very rude.
This is when S. starts tearing up.
S.: You're being mean to me, Mommy.
Me: No, I'm making sure you understand that what you did was wrong and hurtful.
After that, she turned into a weepy cling-on for pretty much the rest of the evening.

I feel badly that I made her cry, but it had to be done. She initially thought the whole spitting thing was hilarious. {sigh}


Saturday, May 19, 2007

I have turned into an old geezer

This is one of those days where I'm feeling my age and wondering what on earth happened to that homesick 18 year old who first came to Texas with nothing but two suitcases, a carry-on and a blanket I had mailed to myself. I have vivid memories standing in line at the university bookstore to purchase my first semester textbooks. I had enough money to buy one plane ticket back home to Germany, but once those books were purchased, I wouldn't. I seriously debated with myself, and I wonder if I would have chucked it all and run if the line had been just the teeniest bit longer.

Anyway, I am remembering that kid today.

For starters, I had to take the mini-van in so that the tires could be rotated and balanced. A mini-van? Me? While waiting for the guys at Discount Tire to get to my vehicle, I wound up talking to a young man who was buying tires for his Mustang GT. Through the course of our chitchat, he let me know he is 27 years old, his wife is expecting their first next month and he loves to race. Geez, it seems like just yesterday, I was cruising the Autobahn and doing a (legal) 100 mph. Now I drive a mini-van...

I got home and tried (in vain) to get my two children to take a nap. We were planning to meet up with some old friends of mine from college days, one of whom I haven't seen in 12 years. 12 years? Did I really graduate 13 years ago? 13?

Mr. W and I wound up dragging two exhausted children to a lunch followed by a wander around the old university campus. We saw the bears that live in the center of campus and even saw a couple horses. I have no idea why there was a horse trailer in the middle of a construction zone. We even stopped by the memorial for all students who have died in residence. One of them was a dear friend of mine. He was a hemophiliac in a time before there was a good HIV screen for blood donors... I rubbed my fingers over his name and thought once again how he should have been running around campus with his own family, visiting old haunts. It's been 15 years since his passing.

I had good conversation with old friends. Even though we haven't seen much of each other since graduation days, we still have strong bonds that let us take up like there hadn't been a huge gulf of time.

I am content with the person I am, and I plan to feel that way about the person I become. Although, I still wonder what happened to that shy, insecure, terribly frightened 18 year old who came to Texas completely on her own with nothing but two suitcases, a carry-on and the blanket she mailed to herself.


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The thrill is gone

I can feel it creeping up on me. It starts out with having a hard time falling asleep and then waking up every two hours all night long. It progresses on to wanting to sleep all day long and feeling paralyzed when faced with a task even slightly difficult. From there, it turns into an inability to focus on things that I really enjoy doing and typically find relaxing.

I'm referring to going through one of my depressive cycles. It's not bad right now, but I'm thrown that I am having one at all. Spring is typically a great time of the year for me mental health wise. However, the past two or three weeks have been a bit of a bummer.

It's probably not a big deal. People who don't deal with 'depression' per se still experience bouts of the feeling that nothing is producing any sort of inspiration.

Ah well. At the ripe old age of 35, I've been through enough of these to know when I need to seek professional help, and I'm confident that this too shall pass. Meanwhile, I'm living in the land of the 'blahs.'

Truth be told, the fact that I'm able to pinpoint it and blog about it indicates I'm probably coming back out of the cycle. This is good since I have a half dozen Mother's day cards I need to make tonight and tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Which is healthier?

Which is the healthiest part of broccoli? I don't like the stems, but I do enjoy the floret part. Hopefully that's got the most nutrients...

It's been awhile...

S. turned 5!!!!

I can hardly believe my sweet little girl is 5! Where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday, she was a newborn. If I close my eyes, I can still smell that sweet new-baby scent and remember how very special it was to hold her close and just breathe in that baby essence. I didn't understand why I was cursed with an extra-keen sense of smell while pregnant and enduring horrible 6 month long morning sickness until I held her in my arms. I knew from the day she was born, that if nothing else, I could always identify her by smell. Now we're gearing up for Kindergarten. Pre-registration is done; we've researched and requested a particular K teacher and we even have a nifty new backpack.

She is totally cracking me up lately. She is absolutely certain she is going to marry this boy who was in her daycare class the first 4 years of her life. It's to the point that when we went to the gem and mineral show this weekend, she announced that the ring she was given was going to be his wedding ring. Such a funny girl.

L. is accident prone

Poor little L. has had a hard time. She fell on her face at daycare a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately, she landed just so that her top front left tooth was jammed back up into her gum. It will be some time before we know if this accident damaged the permanent tooth behind it. The baby tooth is working its way back down, but she does look kind of snaggle-toothed.

She's also got a bite mark on her forehead. I really don't know how one of her classmates managed to get a grip there. Some kind of talent.


You ever find yourself in a situation where you think you might be getting something, but you're not sure you actually want it, but when you find out you're not getting it after all, you're terribly disappointed?