I have turned into an old geezer

This is one of those days where I'm feeling my age and wondering what on earth happened to that homesick 18 year old who first came to Texas with nothing but two suitcases, a carry-on and a blanket I had mailed to myself. I have vivid memories standing in line at the university bookstore to purchase my first semester textbooks. I had enough money to buy one plane ticket back home to Germany, but once those books were purchased, I wouldn't. I seriously debated with myself, and I wonder if I would have chucked it all and run if the line had been just the teeniest bit longer.

Anyway, I am remembering that kid today.

For starters, I had to take the mini-van in so that the tires could be rotated and balanced. A mini-van? Me? While waiting for the guys at Discount Tire to get to my vehicle, I wound up talking to a young man who was buying tires for his Mustang GT. Through the course of our chitchat, he let me know he is 27 years old, his wife is expecting their first next month and he loves to race. Geez, it seems like just yesterday, I was cruising the Autobahn and doing a (legal) 100 mph. Now I drive a mini-van...

I got home and tried (in vain) to get my two children to take a nap. We were planning to meet up with some old friends of mine from college days, one of whom I haven't seen in 12 years. 12 years? Did I really graduate 13 years ago? 13?

Mr. W and I wound up dragging two exhausted children to a lunch followed by a wander around the old university campus. We saw the bears that live in the center of campus and even saw a couple horses. I have no idea why there was a horse trailer in the middle of a construction zone. We even stopped by the memorial for all students who have died in residence. One of them was a dear friend of mine. He was a hemophiliac in a time before there was a good HIV screen for blood donors... I rubbed my fingers over his name and thought once again how he should have been running around campus with his own family, visiting old haunts. It's been 15 years since his passing.

I had good conversation with old friends. Even though we haven't seen much of each other since graduation days, we still have strong bonds that let us take up like there hadn't been a huge gulf of time.

I am content with the person I am, and I plan to feel that way about the person I become. Although, I still wonder what happened to that shy, insecure, terribly frightened 18 year old who came to Texas completely on her own with nothing but two suitcases, a carry-on and the blanket she mailed to herself.

M.W.