Tuesday, July 03, 2007

True, false, multiple choice

You are given one crazy pregnant woman at the end of a long day at work. She is home alone with two high-energy little girls, one of whom is not potty-trained. Her husband is supposed to be home any minute. The girls fussed during dinner, and then stripped down to nothing afterward when crazy pregnant woman sat down for just one minute. The non-potty-trained child has had a massive, smelly, ooey-gooey poopy nasty diaper and removed it. Crazy pregnant woman (who is also extremely nauseated) tries to call her husband to find out where precisely he is so that she can perhaps avoid having to deal with the mess only to have his cell phone roll over to voice mail.

The crazy pregnant woman:

a) calmly deals with the poopy mess, cleans off the worst of it and begins bathing the two children.

b) not so calmly deals with the poopy mess, while wishing it wasn't raining so she could just turn the garden hose on said poopy booty.

c) extremely angrily dials and re-dials and re-dials her husband's cell phone, leaving messages along the lines of 'you need to come home now' and 'where are you, I need you home NOW' all while screaming WHERE IS HE!!!! causing her elder child to ask what mommy was going on about and then cursing under her breath while trying not to breathe, or look at the poopy mess while wiping it off her cherub's tushie, and dumps both kids in the shower while still trying not to breathe since the bathroom reeks of nasty poop and then, when her husband FINALLY comes home, yells at him that he has to change the trash out of the bathroom AND give the kids a bath, because she needs to go someplace and calm down and so she sits down and writes a random blog engry.

Correct answer: A, just kidding, it was C. *sigh* I do feel better now. And by 'better' I mean that I don't want to pack an over-week bag and just leave. Maybe I'll go to Sonic and get some fried cheese. Fried cheese sounds good...

3 comments:

joansy said...

You soooo made the right choice. I hope the rest of your night is a little more restful.

Gretchen said...

Fried cheese cures most anything.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

As I was reading, I thought, C has to be better than these lame-ass A and B responses.

Hugs chica.