Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Guest Blogger: Nadya the Cat

Human, you need to relax. I know I've been like, sick and stuff, but chill. Next time you give me a shot of cold insulin, however, I'm going to bite you... hard. I'd also really appreciate it if you'd give me the shot properly. Having the needle come out the other side and squirt insulin all over the bathroom floor is not my idea of a good time. Especially if it means you get flustered and forget to warm the insulin the second time you 'shoot' me. I mean that about the biting.

Yeah, I'm a little grumpy. You don't really need to bring those two-legged creatures in while I'm eating and/or getting a shot. You let the little one in while I'm getting a shot again, and I will bite you. I really mean this. It would be nice if you'd discourage her from petting me while I'm eating. And, did you really need to show the bigger one how to scratch me under the chin so my leg twitches? We went 4 years without her knowing that trick. If you teach the little one, I will bite you.

Yeah, I like the new food. Low carb is good stuff, especially with gravy. Make sure you keep getting the stuff with gravy. Gravy is good. Try not to get hyper if I only eat half a can at a sitting. We both know I'll make up for it the next day. I've already put on a little over half a pound, so I'm definitely getting enough calories.

Get off my back about the litter box. I don't like the new one, but at least I'm using it. Quit trying to tell me it's a nice box. I didn't fall off the turnip truck last night, and I'm not buying your story. Goody for you that you can test my urine for ketones. Can we please just get the old box back? No? Okay, then don't expect for me to ever 'go' while you are watching ever again. Good luck trying to catch fresh urine.

Oh, and human, remember when you let the ugly, loud kitty outside last night. She would really like to come back in this morning. She's hungry and a little ticked off about sleeping on the welcome mat all night.

I'm taking a nap now, and no, it doesn't mean you gave me too much insulin. Cats sleep. A lot.

Nadya, the Cat

1 comment:

schloobie said...

That is damn funny.