Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Dear Dr. Arrogant Jerk

Your attitude is precisely why I did NOT want to have to see an OB for this pregnancy. I'm still angry that I was forced to come to your clinic instead of staying with my family practice doctor. The latest fiasco with my leave paperwork adds confirmation to my concerns.

What part of 'I need 8 weeks recovery time' do you not understand? Seriously, I've done this twice before, and I've got a pretty good feel for what my body needs to recover. I don't really give a flying fig that the standard is 6 weeks. I need 8 weeks. Period. I have excellent reasons for my statement. Anything you won't sign me out for on medical leave, I will be forced to use vacation for. No, my employer won't let me take unpaid leave. Yes, I have asked. Yes, I know my job is protected, but COME ON I have 5 MONTHS worth of sick leave. I'm not asking you to falsify documents. I'm asking you to freaking BELIEVE ME JUST ONCE!

My family doctor had the decency to believe me when I told him I needed 8 weeks after L.'s birth. I came back to my high stress job ready to go when she was 8 weeks old. All was good, if tiring. Quite a different experience than my return after S.' birth at 6 weeks post partum. My professional reputation is STILL not fully recovered from that disaster. And I TOLD you that I had problems at 6 weeks post partum, but apparently that didn't register.

This brings up my big concern (and the reason I am still awake at 3 in the morning). How on earth can I trust you with my and my baby's health when you do not believe me when I try to tell you something this important? You blew me off when I tried to tell you my recovery from surgery was harder than you thought it should be (nearly 6 years ago). You blew me off when I told you my contractions are normal and not a sign of pre-term labor. You've totally ignored the fact that I am trying to have a natural labor and even offered me an early induction. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think anything I've told you during this pregnancy has actually 'stuck' in your brain.

I am sick of this. You have one doctor in your clinic who treated me like an unfeeling uterus when I was in labor with S. You have another doctor who treated me like I was a complete idiot during my non-stress test a few weeks ago. Quite frankly, I don't care if I never meet the other doctor in your practice. If she's anything like the three of you, then why bother. It would just mean having another stereotypical arrogant MD personality for me to stress about.

Here I am at the tail end of my pregnancy, and instead of getting as much rest as I can cram into these last few weeks, I'm up in the pre-dawn stewing. 'Hate' is a pretty strong word, but right now I have to confess I'm feeling that toward you and your attitude. Hopefully, it's the hormones and I will be able to let this go. However, I feel like you are threatening my and my baby's health right now, and this mama has a really hard time with that.

I guess I will try AGAIN to get you to understand. If not, I'm not sure what I will do. My insurance limits my choice of doctor, and you should know that is the ONLY reason I am seeing you. If I have my way, I will never walk in your door again once this baby is born. In fact, I plan to call my primary care physician to see if he can take over my postpartum care.