Stressed - Non-stressed

Way behind on the blogging... Too tired, I guess.

Way back on December 11, I get a phone call from daycare. One of the kids in L's class showed up with donut holes, and L. ate one before the teachers could get them away from the other kid. Mr. W. raced off to watch her, give her Benadryl and see if she needed to go to the ER.

I freaking hate food allergies! I also hate that some parents cannot seem to get it through their thick skulls that 'NO FOOD IN THE CLASS' means 'NO FOOD IN THE CLASS' I was so mad, I was actually shaking.

I sort of had a feeling something was going to happen that day. L. was in wild-child do what I want mode that morning. She KNOWS she's not supposed to take food from other kids...

Fortunately, the worst that happened was that L. had a solid week worth of diarrhea. Her poor little bottom.

The kicker is when I called the daycare director to ask her if they could send another note home reminding parents not to bring kids to school with food, she informed me that she had talked to the mother in question. The mom's response? 'Well, I see L. eating with all the other kids all the time.' No freaking duh! It's only during mealtimes when L. HAS HER OWN FOOD AND IS BEING MONITORED! It's not when the kids are all running around and only one child has food. Ugh!

Even before L.'s diagnosis, I would have been appalled and deeply apologetic if something I had done led to someone else's child getting sick.

Adding to the stressed portion of this post, I had noticed an abrupt decrease in fetal movement. As in, nothing but a couple stretches for 3 days. I'm fine when it's one or two days where baby decides to sleep all day, but once day 3 came, I started to get very nervous. To top it off, I was pretty panicked about L.'s run-in with her food allergy earlier that week.

I called my ob office and cried until they let me come in for a non-stress test. In typical 'it stops making that noise as soon as the mechanic is there' fashion, the baby flipped and started kicking up a storm within 10 minutes of the monitors being strapped on. I suspect now that she had actually put her head down and settled into my pelvis. Once she popped back out, I could feel her move again.

Throwing my own little pity party. Want to come?

L. was diagnosed with a severe allergy to cow milk 19 months ago. Since then, we've gone on a strict dairy elimination diet, and we've done quite well. Her last hives outbreak was a year ago (when I forgot to wipe down a restaurant table) and that one was pretty minor.

1 year ago, she had a follow-up RAST and skin test. The skin test came back negative, but the RAST showed her levels were unchanged. We continued the dairy elimination diet, and I just KNEW things were better this year. Her RAST test results looked good (from 2 to 1 for milk), so we were all set to do a food challenge yesterday. Right before the challenge, her allergist did one last skin test, and she failed miserably. Within 60 seconds of him applying the allergen, she was itching and developed 10 mm welt where he had put the whole milk.

We'll try again in another year... I had dreams of taking her to the fair and letting her have all the 'goodies', eating birthday cake and ice cream, enjoying my mother's pumpkin pie at T-giving, being able to go out to eat as a family, etc. Instead, it's another year of remembering to take epi-pens and wipes and special snacks and worrying about substitutes in L.'s daycare class...

I'm about to enter my 3rd trimester, so I'll be starting my dairy elimination diet soon. I hate soy flavors and cannot bring myself to drink soy milk. I guess I'll just have to suck it up... The allergist also recommended I avoid peanut and tree nuts since they are so allergenic. *sigh* I know it could be worse, and my heart breaks for the parents whose kids are allergic to unknown and multiple foods. But still, I'm having my little pity party today... I'll be better tomorrow.

M.W.

Pig in a blanket success!

Non-dairy pig in a blanket recipe created by yours truly...

1 roll Pillsbury pizza crust in a can
1 package HEB brand Lil Smokies (read the labels to find the ones without dairy product)

Preheat oven to 400

Unroll the pizza crust and cut into squares
Wrap one square around each sausage
Place 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet
Bake at 400 until golden brown (about 15 minutes)

S. and L. both loved them, and I am delighted they are so easy.

M.W.

Daycare party update

I talked to L.'s morning teacher this morning regarding the 'cheeto' situation. I asked her (very nicely) what they intended to do about keeping the Cheeto dust cleaned up so that L. wouldn't be accidentally exposed. Teacher fessed up that she 'just hadn't thought about it.' Argh! Then, I asked her if they intended to eat in the classroom (which the sign-up sheet indicated). She confirmed and mumbled something about hating to keep L. separated from the rest of the kids. I asked her how they were planning to get the classroom clean enough to keep L. safe after eating. She responded with, 'Well, they do get a little messy...' Argh!

Just so happened the dad of the kid who was signed up for cheetos was there. Teacher asked and he agreed that they will be bringing plain old potato chips or possibly even Fritos or something else that isn't cheese flavored. I asked please nothing that will leave a lot of dust around.

Whew!

I talked to Mr. W. and I think that we will also bring a big caseload of mini Moon Pies. They are non-dairy and safe for L. Maybe she can even share with her friends.

I have been scouting the web for recipes that are non-dairy, but don't have such tasty sounding ingredients such as dietary yeast or egg replacer. This weekend will see my attempt to come up with a biscuit/roll type object that is non-dairy. Wish me luck, for a baker I am not.

M.W.

Finding forgiveness... for myself!

I can find all sorts of ways to excuse myself and justify my mistake. S. was distracting me; L. wouldn't stop crying; my mom disrupted the routine; I'm sleep deprived; etc., etc., etc. In the end, though, it was my mistake and mine alone, and three days later I still feel sick, really and truly sick to my stomach.

You see, L. wanted some milk, and I didn't pay close enough attention to what I was doing. I let the distractions and noise around me distract me. I fixed up her bottle and handed it to her. She put it in her mouth, yanked it out, made a face, shook her head 'no' and handed it back. I set the bottle back down, and L. started fussing for her 'ba-ba' again. Again, I gave it to her. Again, she put it in her mouth, yanked it out, made a face, shook her head 'no' and handed it back. And again, I put the 'ba-ba' down on the table in the kitchen. Only after the third time we went through the request, reject, put down only to beg for it again did I actually look at what was in the 'ba-ba.'

In my clueless, careless, fuzzy state, I had given my deathly allergic child a bottle of cow's milk not soy milk. How could I be so stupid? How could I be so careless? How grateful I am that my child knew she shouldn't have it. How supremely glad I am that the only bad thing to happen was one wretchedly smelly and messy poopy diaper with a bit of diaper rash.

I need to find forgiveness for myself. My daughter has forgiven me already.

I guess this could be added to Gretchen's call for mother of the year, but I'm still too shaken up.

M.W.

Reason #312 why having a kid with a food allergy can be terrifying

**THE FOOD ALLERGY & ANAPHYLAXIS NETWORK SPECIAL FOOD ALLERGY ALERT NOTICE**

MILK ALLERGY ALERT
October 17, 2006

HP Hood LLC is recalling pint and half-gallon containers of “Hood 100% Apple Juice” due to undeclared milk.

The product was distributed to retail locations, distributors, andinstitutions throughout New England (Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont).

The product is packaged in plastic pint and half-gallon containers and has a code date of NOV 14/06 and a plant code of 2508.

Who would expect 100% apple juice to contain milk? Very thankful to the people at FAAN for providing an e-mail service allerting us (me) of improper labeling of the top food allergens.

I try to be super diligent and read the label of everything that L. eats, but I know I wouldn't expect apple juice to contain milk. Especially '100% apple juice.'

Don't even get me started on 'Knorr®-Lipton® Sides' which has had 9 or 10 varieties recalled due to undeclared milk...

M.W.

Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn Prof. Higgins

L.'s blood test results are not encouraging. Her numbers went down for one protein and remained the same for the others. The allergist says it is up to us whether we do a food challenge. I am at war with myself. Do we bite the bullet and do the challenge, recognizing that she could have one humdinger of a scary reaction? Do we play it more cautiously and wait another year?

A year... A year depriving her of what the rest of us can eat with no qualms. A year of bringing food with us for her when we go out to eat. A year of alienating friends and family by declining invitations. A year of being super diligent without knowing FOR SURE that it is necessary.

I just don't know, and the allergist won't tell us what he thinks we should do. Food allergies are such an unkown, he can't even give us odds on whether she will pass the food challenge.

I am so confused...

M.W.

O frabjous day!

L.'s test results were completely negative! No bumps, itches, welts, red spots, nothing! This is quite an improvement over 6 months ago, when a drop of milk on her hand yielded itchy welts. This is the first of three hurdles she must get over before she gets an all-clear on dairy.

Next will be a RAST blood test. If her numbers go down over her last draw, we will do a food challenge. The food challenge will involve a good portion of a day and exposing her to incrementally increasing doses of milk. I am NOT looking forward to that test simply because of the time involved. However, if she passes, the results will be well worth it.

Unfortunately, there is no way we can have all this completed before our trip to Disney, so we will have to plan on her being dairy-free during the trip. On the big positive side, though, I am not as afraid of her going into anaphylactic shock while on an airplane from accidental contact with leftover spilled milk.

M.W.

'And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

Anxiety

L. has her followup allergist appointment in 5 hours. My heart is beating way too fast, and I am choking down bile as we speak.

I am torn between hope that her allergy is waning and terrible fear that it isn't. Terror of a future with a life-threatening allergy and determination that this fear will not rule me battle in my gut.

I know the odds are very good that she will outgrow this. I know that, I really do. However, I also know that the odds of her having a food allergy were slim. The odds of her having an anaphylactic allergy to dairy were very, very slim, and I can't help worrying that we will continue to draw the long odds.

Five hours, and we will have a better picture of her situation. Five hours...

M.W.